A Recommendation by Kinship Center Wraparound Program Director Graham Wright, M.Phil, MSW

Songwriter/singer Mary Gauthier (pronounced Go-Shay) has a new album, The Foundling, that is an overtly autobiographical account of a child abandoned at birth who spent part of her childhood in an orphanage and who later ran away from her mismatched adoptive family and ended up in show business.

Gauthier searched for her birth parents late in life; the album’s track “March 11, 1962″ describes how she finally made phone contact with her birth mother, who refused to meet her. “The Foundling” tells how Mary has come through it all still believing in the power of love.

“We’re all looking for meaning in lives that contain no guarantees…my birth family and my adoptive family loved me the vesy best they could…”

Article by Nancy Murphy, MA, Director of Kinship Center’s Placement Programs, Central Coast and No CA

The adoption process is an exciting one, and a busy time in the life of expecting parents. You’ve been hustling around for months getting everything ready. But after all the paperwork has been submitted, the classes completed, the fingerprints cleared, and the home study beautifully crafted, it seems like there is nothing to do but wait!

Here are some tips on how to use this waiting period to take care of yourself:

1. Formalize your support network and make sure your everyone is ready and clear about what their role will be once your child comes home. You will need family, friends, church members, or others available to talk about your feelings, to support your decision to grow your family through adoption, and to offer respite when you need it. Your support network will be one of the greatest assets you have in building a successful adoption.

2. Attend support groups at your agency or online in order to gain a better understanding of what is ahead. Learn about some of the clinical issues your child may have. Take advantage of additional training you may need. Network with other foster and adoptive parents. Learn from other parents the importance of keeping a sense of humor during trying times. Discover resources that are available to your family once your child comes home.

3. Get your rest! You will need to be in tip top shape for your new infant or child or teen.

4. Read a parenting book. Become familiar with websites that will be easily accessible to you. Bookmark the most helpful pages.

5. Prepare and freeze a few extra meals for those days when you won’t have the energy to cook, but will need quality food.

6. Spend quality time with your partner to rejuvenate your relationship and talk about your family life to come.

7. Keep a journal of your thoughts and expectations so you can reflect later, and so you can share these thoughts with your child when you tell him or her (or them!) their adoption story. There will be nothing as powerful as notes in your own handwriting to convey the depth of your feelings about becoming your child’s parent.

There are multiple resources for you that can help ease the anxiety as you wait to become a parent. Take advantage of the knowledge your adoption professional has, and enjoy the many materials available in adoption magazines, on the Internet, and through other adoptive parents.

Kinship Center hopes you have a wonderful experience!

Post-Permanency Institute offers unique curriculum

A special Summer Institute presented by Kinship Center and hosted by the Center for Human Services at the University of California, Davis campus on August 9-11, 2010 will give child welfare and adoption services workers the practical knowledge and advanced skills to be able to support children after a move into foster care, and ultimately into a permanent home.

Both county and private agency professionals are invited to attend this three-day Institute that will: focus on reducing the long-term impact of moves on children and families, examine the effects of trauma on a child’s brain, understand the importance of previous attachments even when abuse and neglect have taken place, and much more.

Download the registration brochure here. The Institute is approved for 14 hours of continuing education by the Board of Behavioral Sciences.

July 12, 2010: Free workshop presented by Kinship Center Education Institute and Hartnell Community College

Former 27-year prison inmate Nelson Kowalkczyk has designed and implemented programs in prison, juvenile facilities and community centers that help parents and others understand criminal thinking errors in youth. On Monday, July 12, Kowalkczyk will present two workshops at Kinship Center headquarters in Salinas on techniques for identifying and changing criminal behavior.

Workshop #1: From 10:00 – 12:00, Kowalkczyk will talk with caregivers, parents and youth
Workshop #2: From 12:30 – 2:30 pm, Kowalkczyk will talk with professionals

Topics will include holding youth accountable for their actions, what to listen to (and not listen to) when youth are talking, defensive tactics that keep substance users from changing, the fear of losing face…and much more.

To pre-register for either free workshop, call (831) 443-0662, or click here for the registration form. Walk-ins will be accepted as room permits.

A resource recommended by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute.

A teleconference last month by the New York City Administration for Children’s Services, in partnership with Mt. Sinai School of Medicine and other partners, explored the effects of secondary trauma among child welfare staff because of the nature of their clients’ experiences.

“Secondary Trauma: Building Resilience among Child Welfare Staff” is now archived and available from the National Resource Center for Permanency and Family Connections. The teleconference also includes a review of an intervention designed to reduce secondary trauma and promote resilience.

Click here to access the teleconference, a PowerPoint, an annotated bibliography, and presenters’ contact information.

A Gen Y-er speaks out about the myths

As the current generation of nonprofit leaders throughout the country approaches retirement, there will be a scramble to find the next generation of leaders. Should these be seasoned professionals in their 40′s and 50′s, or should nonprofits be opening their minds and doors to young leaders?

Click here to read an articulate message from a Gen Y’er who believes three myths are preventing a qualified pool of young people from having opportunities to contribute at the highest levels.

Helping foster youth to beat the odds and achieve life’s dreams…one by one.

For children who grow to adulthood in foster care, without the love and support of a permanent family, the odds of success are slim. Many will join the ranks of the chronically unemployed, the homeless, the high school dropouts. A recent study found that within five years of reaching age 18, 80% of young men had been arrested and 75% of young women were pregnant. Fewer that 6% had earned a college degree.

A Kinship Center volunteer committee helps foster youth beat those odds with a caring hand and some specific support through fundraising dollars. Here’s a letter from a former foster youth who received mentoring and help from this committee to complete high school and gain university admission to pursue an interest in marine science.

“Dear Cypress Committee, Let me give you a little update…

I just recently completed my sophomore year at the university! The last course was actually a month-long travel course to Palau. The Republic of Palau is basically in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I had the opportunity to study the jungle/marine ecosystems and ecology of the islands. I also learned about the Palaun culture, economy, politics, clan systems, etc.

One of my favorite parts of the course though was all of the activities that we did. I kayaked between many jungle infested islands, snorkeled above some of the most colorful coral gardens that the world has to offer (and saw basically every color fish you can think of). I also went scuba diving through some massive underwater caverns, saw countless amounts of sharks, turtles, hige schools of barracudas (also giant barracudas which are fierce and scary!), napoleon wrasses, jellyfish and so much more!

I also loved hiking through the jungle and finding Japanese bunkers and caves that were used during the bloody battle of Peleliu in WWII! Every day was absolutely incredible! Learning, exploring, adventuring, and experiencing anything is honestly what I am made for!

This summer I will be working with a Group Home as a child counselor…I am very excited for this summer…i feel that with all of my experiences I am getting closer to finding my true goals in life.

Toward the end of the summer, as a university Outdoor Program Trip Leader, i will be leading a First Year Journey (FYJ) backpacking trip to Havasu for incoming freshmen before orientation week. I will also be an Orientation Mentor. I will basically plan and facilitate activities for incoming new students. I did this last year and am very excited to do it again.

This fall I am enrolled in four classes. I was elected co-president for the Students for Environmental Action (SEA) club on campus. I am very excited for next year…it will be challenging and will require that I truly focus and apply myself, but I know that I am capable of doing great.

Thank you so much…for everything!”

African American children account for 15 percent of the U.S. child population, but in the past few years they have represented a third of the more than 500,000 children in foster care. They also have lower rates of adoption, despite legislation intended to create equity.

Click here for a report first published in 2008 that presents key findings of the most thorough study to date, and an analysis of how to improve the prospects of moving to permanent loving homes for children of color.

“Who wouldn’t want to call me ‘son’ now?”

A courageous and brilliantly successful young man who spent his life in foster care, finally aging out at age 18 without a family, reflects on the anguish of never being wanted. “I often wondered, when I was placed in a home, why someone would always give me back?”

Click here to view this powerful video from Shane Salter, someone who triumphed over the odds but still carries the pain of a childhood and adolescence without a caring adult.

Many of the children we place into adoptive families are older. Most have come from very impoverished backgrounds and have missed the experiences that would have helped them feel deeply connected to their parents and families.

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